Who am I?

Hard to say, I wish it were a simple question. I wish I could say.

I am Kate.

That much I know. 

I started off as a Kathryn, Katie followed before, at sixteen, I declared ‘I will now be known as Kate’.

I am Kate. I have spent most of my life being Kate.

But, who am I?

I am a big sister.

I am also a little sister.

I am in the middle, the sister in the middle. I have two brothers.

I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a daughter.

That, too, I know.

What else?

Sometimes I dont feel like I am ‘me’.

‘Who are you?’ I think, thinking of me.

Who is the girl, hell, who is this woman? Are you really forty-two?

No way.

Are you really hearing impaired?

What’s that you say, visually impaired too?

No way.

I’m sorry. What did you say? You are going blind? 

You have Usher Syndrome?

Boy. Glad it is you not me!

Oh no, hang on. You are me.

Oh boy.

::

Can I please start over?

Thank you.

Who am I?

Well…

Something doesn’t work properly in my ears.

Something doesn’t work properly in my eyes.

That’s all.

That’s it.

Usher Syndrome is such a minor part of who I am.

But Usher Syndrome is not who I am.

I am ‘me’.

Kate.

I am not special.

I am not brave.

I am not courageous.

Well, I am, but not because I have Usher Syndrome!

I am, because I am ‘me’.

Kate.

I am funny, no?

Oh God, I can ‘do’ funny.

I trip, I stumble, and I fall. All the time.

Yes, I can be funny. And, I am funny.

I get up, and keep on going.

I am determined.

And I can laugh.

Laugh at myself.

Oh God, if I didn’t laugh, I just might cry, all the time!

Yes. I can laugh. I need to laugh.

::

I do not want to be treated as special.

I do not want to be treated differently.

I don’t feel special, though I am treated as special.

I don’t feel different, though I am treated differently.

Really, I am just like you.

It is just that something doesn’t quite work properly in my ears.

And something doesn’t quite work properly in my eyes.

That’s all.

That’s it.

::

And that is why I am writing From Katie to Kate

I would just like to say one thing.

See me, as me.

That is all.

See me, as me.

Forget Usher Syndrome.

Forget the symptoms. The diagnosis. The prognosis. The treatments. Well, the lack of treatments.

The outlook. The future. All that.

Forget my ears. Forget my eyes.

Forget everything.

For just one moment.

Please.
  
Just see me, as me.

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So that is me. (Eating a whole lot of cake and ice-cream at Coppelia in Havana!) 

I live in Melbourne with my husband and two children. 
I am a graphic designer and a wannabe childrens book writer. 
Speaking of wannabe, I have the full set of Spice Girls dolls.
I hope they will be worth millions, one day…

So that is who I am. 

Tell me, what about you?  

I would love for you to introduce yourself to me.

Comment below, or just send me an email: 

fromkatietokate (at) gmail.com

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